It never crossed my mind that I could be so easily superseded in my husband's life - after nearly a quarter-century of perfect wedded bliss - Tui's!!!!!

Perhaps the old dirge spouting familiarity and contempt may be trotted out at this point - or not! I admit I had let myself go somewhat - one's meno being permanently paused and all. And so, about to hit the big 5-0, resolutions and goals were set and realised, perma-tanned and a new hairdo outed - I thought I was lookin' good!

He said she was on her way - more late night internet usage as he flaunted the tracking of her ship from LA to Auckland. He showed absolutely no conscience - an American at that. Finally she arrived and he just couldn't wait to meet her - I was gutted.

He brought her to the farm late one Sunday afternoon where we met her at the gate. She was dressed in pretty pastel, girly colours - not at all farm practical, definitely not designer Swazi. He introduced her to us, hands all over her long, sleek body boasting immaculate curves and beautiful glowing skin. The boss arrived and pawed her all over as well as the boss's chick and I looked on feigning indifference. It was awful, sickening in fact. His eyes followed her every move as I was pushed into the background - firmly placed at number 4 in importance behind her and the kids!

She is known as Sanger - weird name for a girl ... but who am I to knock her creator's choice. I am used to her now and even admit to some fondness. She is still immaculate and shiny - he spends most of his spare time making sure she is beautiful. She has youth on her side after all ... but I will never be usurped as his first love!